"Oh, make me feel secure!" (A Pre-valentine blog)

In reality, there are some special things or persons in our lives that make an important place in our hearts and make us feel secure. We may even spend most of our time and energy to yield onto these things that we thought to perceive as “important.” The heart can deceive us that we need to take hold of these things because they make us feel good when surrounded with it. We thought that when everything is under our control we feel secure. These are the so-called “security objects” that we always feel the need to embrace. 

Written below are just some examples that we make believe to be our security objects:

• Our money in hand, finances, bank account
• Our status quo and standing in work or school
• New gadgets such as cellphones, iPad, iPhone, etc.
• Love given by the opposite sex
• Relationships that we have
• Approval by parents and family
• Acceptance by friends
• Parties, gimmicks, vices, pleasurable things
• Compulsive eating or food that makes us feel good when under stressed, depressed or nervous
• Our talents and skills, like singing, dancing, creativity, playing of musical instruments, work skills – skills that make us known for it
• Boyfriend/girlfriend to cherish with
• Marriage, being a husband or wife
• Number of Facebook friends
• Our appearance, body figure, and looks
• Our clothing/fashion

…And other things that we ought to say, “we can’t live without!” or “I want this to be mine for keeps!” and actually anything that our minds play tricks that we need a certain material or person in our lives.

Nothing is wrong when the abovementioned “security objects” or “people” are revolving in our daily lives, but they should NEVER EVER fill the void of our security. Striving to be an excellent worker or student isn’t bad at all until our aim is to please and get the approval of others (thinking that we need to keep the status quo to make us feel secure). We upgrade our technology every now and then until we get hold of them because we get the kind of attention that we want from people. Thus, making us feel good and secure. But we always have to remember that neither security can be bought nor earned. Things or people around us should not be labeled as our “security objects,” but they should be foreseen as more of “blessings” entrusted to us. They are given to us for a purpose and for careful handling. They can even turn out to be the best instruments for God’s greater glory and a reminder for us that God is the provider of all our needs. (The devil will do anything to twist the truth and he wants us to be handicapped with the lesser things of this world rather than settling for the best that God has in stored for us. The devil does it best for being the father of deception and of all lies.) We need to see that blessings given (aka "security objects") to us will only exist in a temporary state and they wouldn’t be there to last longer than our lifespan. Permanent security does NOT have to pay with our efforts but it only comes from having real relationship with God and getting deeper with Him—making Him our “total intimate security object.” This kind of security is real, satisfying and keeps us abreast no matter how fleeting life is and how uncertain, changing the world we face in. Whether we have these people/objects around us or not, our fullness should only be found in Him. Our role is just to give everything and surrender our empty cups to God and let Him do His job in filling our cups with His overflowing love that never fails. Our being can never find real security and satisfaction until we finally rest in Him.

We’re in the danger side when we embrace the surface rather than the core (some kind of idolatry). There are times we barely notice the strong grab (stronghold) that we have towards a person or thing, because we only feel good about it until it hurts in the end. In order to abstain from grabbing the wrong source of “security object,” it is wise to have a regular heart check that asks, “What makes me really secure? Is there anything that surpasses other than my security and relationship with God?”

“You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing...You alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure… I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:2,5,8)

“Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7)

"Faith" or "Faint" goals?

It’s not new for us to write down our faith goals and dreams that we are aspiring for this coming new year. We get emotional as the year ends -- we reminisce the good times and suppress the bad memories -- and we are all headed in a direction to make brand new beginnings for this new year. The faith goals that we try to work on could be our desires, needs, prayers or wishes for ourselves or other people, but our goals shouldn’t just be based in the emotional ground or they may just crumble down when whirlwinds of life hover on us. It can be frustrating for us. I also believe that goals shouldn’t be based on a pure logical perspective or we may miss God’s greater plan for us. Rather faith goals are to be planted and balanced in the faith ground and aligned with God’s will. Perhaps people can oppose our dreams and beliefs, just like how Nehemiah went through and how he struggled with some oppositional leaders who stated, “What does this bunch of poor, feeble Jews think they’re doing? Do they think they can build the wall in a single day? Do they actually think they can make something of stones from a rubbish heap—and charred ones at that?” and they continue to hurl insults at them... “That stone wall would collapse, if even a fox walked along the top of it!” (Nehemiah 4:2-3) But Nehemiah didn’t allow any kind of opposition to bring down his ”faith goals” and the dream of restoring Jerusalem’s walls. His faith didn’t faint. He had the eyes of faith. The faith that he had and the habit of praying grew much stronger even to the point of life & death matter (not that I’m saying you get yourself killed?) He also encouraged the people involved in the building of walls, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome." (Nehemiah 4:14) He constantly woke their spirit of fear into faith, since faith is the opposite of fear. He also exclaimed with the assurance of faith, “Our God will fight for us!” (Nehemiah 4:20)

From the start of His dreaming/planning state, to the journey of intervention of plans, up to the very period of success in everything, Nehemiah dedicated his whole heart and every decision & action unto the Lord. Putting God the center of everything… “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matt 6:33)

This faith challenge serves as a challenge for me as well-- to have the Nehemiah eyes-of-faith attitude: “The God of heaven will give us success.” (Nehemiah 2:20) Even before their success came to past, Nehemiah believed and stated those words from the very beginning when nothing yet was built; it became his blueprint in mind and heart, and he never doubted! Another thing, there is also nothing wrong in piling up our list of goals, but more importantly, we need to pile up our faith first as the very foundation all the way. Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

“…And without faith it is impossible to please God.” Hebrews 11:6

When God speaks and builds, we uncover.

I always find it amazing when God speaks to us PERSONALLY and how He becomes RELATIONAL to humans like us. He doesn’t speak to us through audible voice, or else, I, myself, would drown in fear when I would hear Him calling out my name: “Joanna, Joanna..”

There is one of those recent events in my life that I’ve experienced how God communicated and conveyed His desires and plans to me, while I am in the midst of planning my future and hunting careers, as part of my transition to adulthood life. I’ve tried seeking jobs several times and took examinations to try out my “destiny” but it looked like they weren’t meant for me or maybe some were only meant for a certain, particular time. Some people “expected” and regarded me that I would be in a different field, not in the area of nursing. I failed most of the time with my attempts in trying out different careers. There was even once that I viewed failure as a mess up in life and most especially -- a shed off to my inflated pride. OUCH! Despite of all my tireless planning and tryouts for my future life, in fact, I’ve gone into a realization that my past failures were actually an avenue to the prayer that I’ve once asked! I remembered that there was an instance that I prayed to God: “Lord, whatever your will is, open the door wide on what you have really planned for me and shut all the doors down that are against your will.” In my case, I had feelings of partiality with regards to the failures I’d experienced. I’d been in half pain and at the same time grateful that He shuts down the doors that are against His will, for “the man’s steps are directed by the Lord.. How then can anyone understand His own way?” (Proverbs 20:24) Failing once in my life was a humbling experience, but it is NOT a defining moment for me as a person. If I didn’t fail at all, then maybe I wouldn’t be able to start all over again. God had a different plan in His mind for me and I knew it the time when He revealed to me in my quiet time in Psalm 84: “How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! …Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere.” With a concluding statement in the end of the chapter, “NO GOOD THING DOES HE WITHHOLD from those whose walk is blameless… Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in YOU.” (The whole Psalm speaks of a place where He has prepared for His people…) Before I came to stumble upon Psalm 84, I remembered that my mom advised me to make a reroute of my life plans and try out NCLEX (National Council Licensure Examination), a Nursing licensure in the US. I saw that my mom’s statement of advice was verified by the Word of God from Psalm 84, which speaks of God having a different place prepared for me. There was also one gathering event that I’ve attended (during the halfway of my review for NCLEX) where a bowl (as in a fish bowl) containing tiny encouraging words/verses printed in pieces of paper that was being passed on to the whole crowd during the event, and the paper I picked and stumbled upon was from the words of Psalm 84 again. Even with God’s words of confirmation, there were still times that I was worried & anxious that I might fail just like before. But I knew God’s words were already speaking to me by that time. JUST RIGHT BEFORE THE DAY of my NCLEX examination, I had my devotion and surprisingly one of the references was Psalm 84 again. Another thing, ON THE DAY OF MY EXAM ITSELF, I encountered the word “nurse” for the first time in my entire life in the bible written in Isaiah 66:12: “….you will NURSE.” I felt that God was pumping me up already on the day of my exam! Besides His words of confirmation, someone has offered me a nursing job already in the US even before I took my exam, without me asking. I knew that everything paves already for an open door and God’s favor. My whole hope and trust rest in the hands of God who is in control of everything. But still my prayer before the exam remains the same, “Let Your will be done in my exam and let Your glory shine, not mine anymore.” I also prayed that I would only encounter a certain number of test questions and I wouldn’t experience any computations during the exam because math doesn’t seem to like me back. Haha. (Just so you know, the computer throws out questions in a random manner from a stored pool of thousands of questions). Another essential prayer for me was having a good bladder control since I always need to go to the restroom at least every hour especially in the morning (exam time was morning). Such aforementioned pleas were just simple prayer points, but when I called, He answered and fulfilled them. There is still so much to say about this experience, but the main thing is God orchestrates every event in our lives already even before we knew it. He does not withhold any good thing to those who put their trust in Him. The real secret recipe is to have a connection and genuine, growing relationship to God, even though tough times and the waiting process seem to get harder for us -- His hand would carry us into His loving will in His perfect timing and I knew I have to share this because this applies to all of us in different settings and stages. Isaiah 55:8: "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

By all means, the conclusion is that, God speaks to us in a different means and it is always in a personalized way. He speaks to us and builds us up by……

1. Having first a genuine relationship with God. It’s a continuous & a renewing relationship and it does not stop in a day.     His words become clearer to us when we give, or more appropriately, make a surrender of our lives to Him.

2. When we dig into God’s word/bible, not just merely read. It is the only life manual handed FOR US and we get to learn the very character and nature of Christ.

3. When we give and open our hearts and ears for listening. Being patient in order to have a listening & seeking heart.

4. To have a daily, consistent quality time with God (a.k.a. Quiet time). It’s important to keep the growth of relationship with Him.

5. Read books that are biblically-based that will expound our view of God and our faith in Him.

6. Listening to Christian music or podcasts. For me, listening to K-love radio helps a lot. It is one of the most encouraging tool (and it is even life-changing and not boring) in the media world today. Check out the online radio: www.klove.com

7. Listen to the trustworthy people. God can use them to speak and build you.

8. Be discerning in every situation & circumstance we face. God has always something to say through every good and bad situation.

9. To learn how to quiet our emotions down, and to listen & have faith in Him.

10. To put off all our past “trust issues”, and mainly trust His word and the greatness of His being. “Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

11. Set aside pride because it gives us the bondage to hold on to ourselves more than God.

The first and most essential step is always to go back and commit ourselves to God with a fresh broken-spirit before Him. I always try my best to remind myself with this. Whenever we commit ourselves to Him, there is always a process accompanied, wherein we all must go through which is – ‘Being still and waiting patiently for the Lord amidst the trials and tribulations in life’: “COMMIT YOUR WAY TO THE LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn… BE STILL BEFORE THE LORD and WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM.” Psalm 37:5-7

The assurance in life is having God’s spirit and power dwell in us as we get through the whole process of the long wait and trials: “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence.” 2 Peter 1:3

With all that we have in life, we owe it to the One who substituted and paid the price for us on the cross, so why not live for His glory.

As my brother would say it, a USRN himself, "Two important things to become a USRN! Read your Saunders and Bible everyday! Yeah!"

Plain Inconvenience or Catastrophe?

Dead iPod charger

Broken angle valve in the bathroom

Our house seemed to be a troublesome for my mom and I in the past few days. Our three different bathroom floors had been flooded with water due to angle valve damage & it’s still leaking despite having it fixed. Our freezer container broke into half. Power socket in my room sparkled & it’s non-functional already. My iPod charger was killed by the power socket. Shortage of electricity occurred in my mom’s room. Her power socket got impaired as well. Talk about inconvenience inside the house, a test of patience, and, of course, pain in the pocket. I guess everyone can relate to this and even once in our lives we faced series of unfortunate events that disrupt our sense of balance. Hmm, damage control anyone? Nobody ever said that life is easy & without problems, but the secret to handling problems is how we view them. It’s an attitude thing. A friend of mine gripped into belief that our main problem is the head, and I would like to confess that sometimes I seemed to have that head problem. There is a need to constantly remind our heads about recognizing the vast difference between plain inconvenience and a major catastrophe. Running out of water is inconvenient. A postponed event is inconvenient. Spilled shirt is inconvenient. But, a crushed bone and wrecked buildings due to earthquake? Now we are talking about major catastrophe!

Life is full of complexities but I know that it has to be enjoyed as well. Inconveniences are temporary and it can be fixed soon, but the damage that we gradually do with ourselves and the relationships involved in our lives can turn into catastrophe when we don’t quickly get away ourselves from it. There are times that we tend to forget the important things in life-- like relationships-- that we get so consumed by the fire that we create within us and people may even get burned with it. I learned from the inconveniences that happened lately in our house that no matter how can these inconveniences turn our house into sabotage (not something that I wished for), I know for the mere fact that my life would be still enjoyable by looking on the real permanent deal in life-- God and relationships. Circumstances shaped and challenged me to become better and to love my family all the more. Every single thing can ruin into dust, but my family will always be the permanent home in my heart. If we could only forego and spare ourselves from the stresses that we create from a mere inconvenience, maybe we can live a life that is more enjoyable and live it to the fullest.

My Family

First Blog Attack

Woops, here's another blog to spill and attack with my thoughts...

I have been into free-lancing writing since a long time ago on different social sites, like Multiply and Facebook, but they seemingly surpass in due time. With my hopes on high, I am looking forward that this place would likely be my landing craft on letting my thoughts loose out from a tickling life experience or just from an ordinary day-to-day life basis. I will try to keep my thoughts short, significant and colorful, as possible.

This writing journey is exciting for me-- it thrills me as I treasure every ordinary life moment especially that I am in quest for life, and I am optimistic that there is always something to learn from an average moment of day. I am just yet thankful that this life's journey ahead of me would be only possible with the presence of my family and friends whom God substantially uses. I hope that this is a good avenue to share how my life is being spent.

Just enough for now, yet I am thrilled to paint my thoughts on my first official post on the next entry. See you later folks on my thoughts!